Poor Man's Speedball

This is my drug of choice. The street name is poor man's speedball. It's legal, for now at least. There are different methods to mix this drug. In this photo it's 16 fluid ounces coffee, cut with a few tablespoons of half-and-half. This is carefully ensconced in a 6mm, double enforced pint beaker and insulated with a cardboard hand-protector. The other beaker contains 16 fluid ounces of Stella Artois, chilled to 7 degrees celsius. Here's the trick that your average street dealer wouldn't know: the mixing of these substances does not occur in pyrex pitcher, no. The powerful narcotic is administered through the mouth, through alternating sips, and mixed in the stomach. The high comes on fairly quickly; it's a rushing-Zen, a speedy-calm, a passionate-relax, followed by a bathroom run. The PMS (not to be confused with the other one) is perfect for writing that first draft of a kick ass memoir, or grading student essays, or as I ended up doing tonight, playing pinball in a laundromat.